Rarely does it happen where one spouse says “let’s get a divorce” and the other says “okay, let’s call the lawyers!” Usually one spouse is more in favor of a divorce than the other, and “the other” may resist the inevitable.
After the initial shock has worn off, hopefully the other spouse will cooperate in coming up with a plan as to how you will divorce. There are different options to consider, and only the two of you know what works best for you. You can choose between doing it on your own, mediation, collaborative law, or litigation. Make sure you meet with an attorney to obtain information regarding the different options and share them with your spouse. How you begin the process will likely set the tone for the entire divorce process. This is the most important decision you will make at this point. You may get lucky and not have to face too much of a fight, but many divorces wind up in a tug of war that can be over something as simple as a dish to more complicated matters, such as child custody.
Many times, the other spouse may want to “work” on the marriage and believes that with a little effort your relationship can get past whatever is going on between the two of you. Again, this is a personal choice to make. If it can’t hurt, and might help, perhaps you should give it a try. It may be only to let your spouse get a clearer understanding that this is not going to work and have a little more time to accept the situation. Counseling often fails before the first session in situations where the relationship is irreparably broken.
California, like all fifty states, has a no-fault divorce policy which enables one spouse to start divorce proceedings. This means you may obtain a divorce without the cooperation or consent of your partner, although it may take longer and will likely be more expensive than a consensual divorce. If you can impress upon your partner that dragging out the divorce will only cost both of you more time and money, and probably harmful to the children, you may enlist his or her cooperation and things will move along faster. There are also tremendous emotional costs. Just keep in mind that no matter how long the proceedings drag on, eventually you will be divorced.
Getting Legal Help
The experienced Sacramento Family Law Attorneys at Bartholomew & Wasznicky LLP can help you navigate your divorce with respect and compassion. Contact Bartholomew & Wasznicky LLP today for knowledgeable and respectful representation via phone at (916) 455-5200 or via email at info@DivorceWithRespect.com.
