You can accept that gas prices rise and that food costs more, but you never thought you'd have to learn to accept divorce. Your friends lend a sympathetic ear, your parents think your spouse was never good enough for you anyway, and everyone practices good intentions with what they think is helpful advice on how to cope. And nothing feels quite right. After decades of a 50 percent divorce rate, one would think that there would be 12-step program to follow to accept divorce.
The path to acceptance that your marriage is over and learning to moving forward is as individualized as fingerprints. You'll need courage, a good dose of whatever has made you feel good in the past (as long as it's legal), and a commitment to having an open mind.
Courage may take the longest to find. This is the part where you learn to become 'okay' with not being the other half of a couple. Your friendship base may change; your activities may as well depending on how much of your recreation time was spent on couple functions. You'll also need courage to tell family and friends that you're getting a divorce. Expect all sorts of reactions, and don't expect that everyone will be supportive. A good method of dealing with unsupportive people is to imagine the worst and nastiest things they could say about you. Then when it's time to deal with them, it probably won't be as hurtful as anything you’d come up with.
The second part of learning to accept divorce is remembering what you liked doing in the past, but hadn't been doing lately. There might be a hobby or sport that always made you feel great about yourself, but that you'd gotten away from once you were married. Time to revisit something positive that was part of your life before marriage.
Finally, have an open mind about the journey you're on now. It could lead to so many new and exciting things for you, such as a new job, a new city, even a new country. It could also lead you to your next and better relationship. Pain, fear, anger, and guilt are a normal part of healing, just as joy, laughter and hope are an important part of the journey as well.
Getting Legal Help
Experienced Sacramento Family Law Attorney Hal Bartholomew can help you navigate your divorce with respect and compassion. Contact Bartholomew & Wasznicky LLP today for knowledgeable and respectful representation. Call us at (916) 455-5200 or email us at info@DivorceWithRespect.com
